you only die 3 times

 

You only die 3 times in your life. Experiencing 2 deaths and dying completely from 1. The first death happens early on in life.

You are innocent, curious, carefree. At first you die from being smothered, suffocated, choked, you die a sad death, oxygen is cut off and you are buried, buried deep, so as not to ever resurface. The world does not want you, you serve it no purpose, you must die, but the body is ready to be revived. Sometimes you can hear its laughter but you smother it out, you silence it, you ignore it. It should be cared for, it should be revered but the world wants it lifeless.

The 2nd death, is different for many. It is when you can’t take it, the world becomes a heavy burden, something revives and takes over, something thats been buried deep, it has now become resurrected, the purity ignites within you again. The purity before the world, that preceded the world. It’s clawing its way back to the surface, climbing for air, to breathe once more, to breath fresh new air. You can’t help but let it take over, to rid yourself of the world, to get back what you lost so prematurely, what you’ve been repressing is coming back full force and its wish is to destroy you. It seeks to end your life, it wants revenge for what you’ve done, for the neglect, the pain, the torture, that you put it through during the years and now you are too weak to stop it. Throughout the years, it has grown in its hatred, for you and for everyone, it’s too powerful for you to control now, you cannot bury it, you cannot smother it any longer. You die slowly and painfully. A new you is born from the carnage but it is a perverted and mutilated form of yourself constructed from decades of decay. You realize it is far too late now, the world has won, you let it win, in your own ignorance, in your cowardice. The world chewed you apart and spit you out.

Years fade into memories, but you’ve forgotten most memories, you’ve forgotten a lot, you’ve even forgotten how to live, to truly be in this world and not be consumed by it. You are now dead, completely.

 

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sonnychasm

Literature, art, science, travel. Writing fiction, non-fiction, poetry. Always wrestling with language.

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